Friday, September 11, 2020

From the Archives - In Memory of Mary

I found this post in my drafts from early 2014. I post it now, remembering Mary as I also celebrate the life of my Grandma.
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My friend Mary passed away in October 2013 after a nearly year long battle with kidney cancer that had metastasized to her brain before she even knew she had it. It was a difficult year for her: struggles with treatment, reactions to chemo, seizures, loss of abilities.  The funeral was packed.  I guess that's what happens when a person is only 55 and has touched so many lives. 

I met Mary through a friend/coworker when I was also introduced to scrap booking.  I have to note here that I never thought I would be come a scrap booker.  I used to call it "crap booking" and couldn't see the point of chopping up my photos and putting a bunch of junk in my album, of decorating the pages with baubles, stickers and fancy paper.  Somehow, I decided to go and check out an open house scrap booking thing Krista was having at her house.  As suggested, I brought a couple photos with.  I chose some pictures of my cat, Oscar.  Heaven knows I had plenty of those.  I can't help it - orange tabbies are highly photogenic.  Anyway, I started with just a little sample packet which just happened to coordinate nicely with the coloring of the cat.  Next thing I knew, I had the first page of Oscar's album and was making an order for more supplies.  And I went back to Krista's several more times for scrap booking sessions.  Part of the joy of scrap booking, for me, was the camaraderie.  Hanging out in Krista's basement workroom with Mary, Mary Kay, Mama Jere and the other girls, I found common bonds.  These were creative women who made beautiful scrap books.  Some of the pages were elaborate, some of them simple, all telling a story important to the woman creating the page.  Tales of travel, tales of a belly dancing troupe, tales of gardens, motorcycle trips, weddings and more.  I started joining them on retreats, spending a long weekend in a little cabin in the woods and later a retreat center build especially for scrap booking retreats, working on my own books.  I have completed Oscar's little album and several volumes of travel albums.  Mary was there for most of my scrap booking.  I liked the other ladies, but I really connected with Mary. 

Mary knew a lot about a lot.  She had a wicked sense of humor and lots of opinions. She was talented and loved to offer advice.  A designer and professional organizer, her sense of color and style was a terrific help.  I remember struggling to find the right paper to set off some pictures of a fortress I had visited in France.  I had a couple hundred sheets of paper in dozens of different colors and was about to just use black, my default background, when Mary pointed across the table to a color I never would have even looked at. I had thought it a hideous shade of poopy tan. "That one.  That's the one.  Do you have 2 sheets?  Do a double truck (2 pages side by side) and draw lines on it to look like the brick in the photos."  Genius.  It matched perfectly and turned into a terrific brick wall background.  Another time, she found the perfect shade of green (again a color I thought was kind of gross) which set off the foliage of Kauai like it had been color-matched by a computer.  Then she helped make the perfectly-colored bird-of-paradise paper flower to coordinate with the picture.  She offered tons of advice and encouragement on one of my more insane ideas - a paper stained glass window which mimicked the windows in a church E had taken a picture of in Hawaii.  She lent her exacto knife and helped with the shaping of the window, and then kept me going as I place all the little teeny pieces of paper in the "window". Hours later, I had finished one of the coolest, most frustrating things I had ever made for an album. 

These are just some of the scrap booking memories I have of Mary.  She also inspired me to seek out a belly dance class (she and some of the others we scrap booked with knew each other from when they were in a belly dance troupe together).  She offered advice, when I asked, about remodeling my kitchen. She made me laugh, A LOT.  Riding as passenger in my car she would say, "No cars!" and then as I entered the intersection, she'd add "Only vans, buses and trucks!"  She would wave to the mannequin in a car perched a top a tall billboard in Minneapolis - every single time we drove past it.  She would bob her head and sing "Raahr, raahr, raahr" in her best death metal voice when something like Rage Against the Machine played on the iPod in the scrapping room. And then say "I LOVE this music" with a sarcastic roll of the eyes.  Eating fries at McDonald's, Mary would shake the extra salt off each and every fry before she ate it - because of the hypertension, you know.

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Even now as I read this nearly 6 years after Mary's passing, I realize how much I still miss her.  Scrap booking is still fun and I love the group of women that I retreat with now (including my little sister!) but scrapping still makes me think of Mary and wonder what color paper she would advise, or what crazy-ambitious detail she would inspire.  And if ever RATM comes on the radio, I will say "Raahr, raahr, raahr - I LOVE this song!"

Mary is the one who is a friend of the author of Hit by a Farm which I blogged about before. If you want more stories about Mary, check out Sheepish: Two Women, Fifty Sheep and Enough Wool to Save the Planet also by Catherine Friend.

Mary, I am sorry that it took me all this time to get this posted.  Please hug my grandma who recently joined you in the great hereafter.  

Until we all meet again,
Hallie

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